


A Year In The Life of Emma

by midnightwriter



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant Until S03E09, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-11 03:17:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7874086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightwriter/pseuds/midnightwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shaw makes and emergency c-section. John falls in love with the little baby and adopts her. Harold is not amused but soon falls in love with her... and John.</p><p> </p><p>This fic was written to cure my blue about the ending of this amazing show. It has all my favorites: fluff, domestic, kids, different point of views about their relationship. I pretty much wrote this for myself *laughs ashamed*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Uncommon Birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is finished and I'll post a new chapter every two days, so if you don't like WIP, you can come back in two weeks. =D
> 
> This story happens in season three, after episode 9, excluding that last minute (you know the one I'm talking about). After that, it isn't much canon compliant.
> 
> Also, English isn't my first language and I don't have a beta. So I'll appreciate if you point mistakes and typos. I really hope you enjoy this silly story of mine!

Laura Siggens had been hiding very well for the past six months. She worked as a waitress in an old dinner in Brooklyn, she requested to be paid in cash only, with the excuse of saving her a trip to the bank. Considering her pregnant state, that only later they found out about, it was easy to understand why her boss had accepted her wish without arguing. She kept herself away from the internet, social media and even phones. Her small apartment didn't have a computer and her cellphone was an outdated one. She bought things in cash and paid her rent the same way. Almost no tracks to follow.

Fortunately, John and Shaw knew how to track someone without Harold's gears and skills. It was harder and took longer than usual, but the job still got done briefly.

They tracked her down using the information they had from the six months prior to her new life. They were not sure if she was a perpetrator even after her fingerprints showed up on AFIS for possession of drugs two years ago. The girl was only 23 years old, possibly she just didn't want people checking her status as an ex-con, making easier to get a new job and move on with her new life.

Once they found her apartment, small and in an old building, they also found the baby clothes and other baby's stuff that corroborated to the idea they had that she was just trying to change her life, trying to get away from her past. Her old associates were all dead or in jail or still living in Oklahoma. They couldn't figure out who would want to kill her or who she would want to kill.

Things became clearer when they found out about her ex-boyfriend and father of the child she was carrying. She never pressed charges against him, but it was obvious to the team that he had abused her. No woman would try to disappear for no reason. She was there along with the number of many other women that came almost every week to them. It made even Shaw's feel sadden by them, as much as she could feel at least.

Things became more complicated when they couldn't locate her one afternoon after her shift ended. The girl was smart and lost her tail, even with her eight-months pregnant self receiving more attention than usual. Her cellphone was a burner one that they hadn't manage to pair.

Abusing of his hacker's skills, Finch managed to get a hold of her location and told with apprehension that Mr. Reese and Ms. Shaw should hurry because her ex-boyfriend had found her, too. They stole a car and Shaw drove as fast as she could, she didn't want another lost on her hands. Her job was to be the best possible, to achieve the goals there were set to her. She would not admit failure.

John had his jaw clenched during the whole affair. He was very sensitive towards abusive men hurting their wives, girlfriends, and daughters. He was also very sensitive when cases were about children, no matter how old or how young, he had a sweet spot for them that Shaw would usually make fun of, calling him a "mother hen". John pretended to be annoyed, but he enjoyed the title more than he would ever let anyone know.

All of these, together with their training as deadly spies, were the reason they shot the man without a second thought as soon as they saw young Laura laying on the dirty floor of that dark alley with her eyes wide in terror and blood around her throat and face, while her body got colder by the minute. She was dead. Even from a distance, they could see she was still wearing her work attire, a mustard colored dress that used to go to her knees and wasn't capable of hiding her swollen abdomen.

Now, he was dead too. Two bullet wounds on his head.

Reese was about to turn around and leave the place when Shaw went almost running to the girl's body on the floor, stopping briefly to retrieve the knife the man had on his hands before, in a dark alley in a bad place of the town. One that no one would call the cops after hearing shots being fired, but most likely they'd lock their doors and hide.

"Call 911." She said emotionless.

"What for, Shaw? She's dead." His voice was tired, hiding the anger he felt.

"The baby, John. The baby must still be alive. That asshole was just leaving the place when we got here, he couldn't have killed her more than two minutes ago. It must be at least eight months old now, that's old enough to survive after birth."

As she was speaking, she tore the woman's dress apart using the knife, exposing her belly. She touched it in a few places, making sure the kid was in a proper position for a C-section. She had only done that two times before, one of those when still in medical school. Even so, her hands weren't shaking and her heartbeats were slowing down after the adrenaline spike of moments ago. John was going to reach for his phone when Finch's voice came through his earpiece.

"Already called 911, Mr. Reese. It must take them at least fifteen minutes, thought."

Shaw's movements were excellent, her technique was perfect. She inserted the knife in the higher pelvis, just below her abdomen and _linea negra_ , cutting through skin, fat and muscle with easy. The easiness came from the many deaths she caused before, cutting through the same layers. In the back of her mind, she was satisfied with herself and pointing out how her lack of empathy wasn't something negative, as one of the board members of the hospital she used to be an intern had once said to her.

Shaw put her hands in and felt the uterus muscle. She cut through it carefully to not hurt the being inside. Then she put the knife to her side and took the baby out even more carefully. The baby was covered in its mother blood, but the ex-doctor still could see it was starting to get cyanotic. She took the knife again, holding the baby with just one hand and supporting it - she! - against her chest. Shaw cut the last connection between mother and child, the umbilical cord.

"I need your jacket." She ordered.

John has always been very good at following orders, now wasn't different, he did what he was told without questioning.

"Put it on the floor here." She pointed to a place on the cement floor next to her and he did as he was told again.

She placed the newborn gently, a very unusual characteristic for her. She tied a knot using the rest of the umbilical cord and put her ear close to the baby's chest, closer to the left nipple. She made compressions on the small baby's chest. She breathed air into his airways, then made more compressions. Suddenly, the small child started to cry out loud, the face turning redder by the second. John and Harold let out a relief breath.

"Good work, Ms. Shaw," Harold said and the woman shrugged, secretly pleased that her skills were able to guarantee her a compliment from her demanding boss.

"It needs to be held." She told John, obviously not willing to participate in this particular task. One that John was more than willing to do.

He took the baby along with the jacket, folding the newborn girl tightly with it and in his arms, making a cozy place for her. She still kept on crying and Shaw said it was a normal thing, she wasn't crying because she was unhappy, but because her lungs were getting used to breathing.

Five minutes later, the paramedics arrived. Shaw and John invented an elaborate story with help from Harold about they walking down the street and hearing a scream, then gunshots. John told he was ex-military and Shaw was an army doctor ("always hide a lie inside the truth", Harold told them), which is why they both rushed into danger instead of running away from it. Shaw informed she performed an emergency c-section, something she was supposedly used to do in the field.

The paramedics didn't question them much, seemed like the female paramedic used to be in the army and, according to Harold, it made her less likely to act against the orders of someone of John's rank. The bastard really did think of everything. She simply asked for her partner to call the police and Harold called first, requesting for Fusco and Carter to take the case before anyone else.

Against his better judgment and Harold's advice, John asked to go in the ambulance with the little baby. The two paramedics were not very willing to let it, but once John promised that his sister would stay there to give a statement to the police and when they saw the protective way he was holding the baby girl, they let him join them in the ambulance. Shaw was unhappy. She didn't want to wait for Fusco and Carter. She wasn't happy that she was left behind and about being John's fake sister either.

~#~#~#~#~

"Mr. Logan?" Carter called as she walked towards Reese, pretending not to know him. "I'm detective Carter, I'm the one dealing with the murders of Laura Siggens and Nicholas Bulkens."

She played her part nicely, avoiding anything that might give way any sort of friendship between them. She was used to this game by now, it came as second nature to her. John was never her friend in public, but always someone else. She thought that perhaps she would never be the Joss she knew in public either, always putting one or other mask to be able to accomplish her goals.

Only when they were in a more desert part of the hospital that she spoke to him again. Not bothering with the camera that probably was spying on them or how Harold must be listening to their conversation through their phones. She wasn't fond of this lack of privacy, but she was unfazed by it nowadays.

"Shaw made an emergency C-section on a dark alley with a kitchen knife?" She was stuck between wonder and surprise. Every time she thought these people couldn't surprise her anymore, they did something that did.

"She went to med school." Reese deadpanned. Carter knew this but didn't think it made the whole affair less impressive and... crazy.

"Have you find anything on the mother yet? Relatives? Close friends? Social service will be moving the girl as soon as she's stable and I need to know if there's someone that we can take the girl to."

"Finch didn't find anything yet. She was a foster kid. Parents died at young age, her only friends were other addicts and drug dealers. The people from the restaurant she worked for didn't know her that well, said she mostly kept to herself. They had no idea she was hiding from something."

"Looks like her daughter won't have a much different future," Carter stated sadly, thinking of her own child growing up without a father and how it affected him.

After listening to her words, Reese made a decision, a very important one that would affect everything. However, at the time, she didn't know this. If she had known, Carter would have said many things, maybe she would've even tried to dissuade him from such a decision. Many months later, she would be very glad that she didn't know and wasn't able to stop John from acting as his usual reckless, crazy self.

"Excuse me, detective. I've got something to do."

She nodded and watched him go, wondering what she'd write on her report to explain the mess that this case was.

~#~#~#~#~

"Finch." He called while entering the computer room in the library.

"Yes, Mr. Reese?" Harold only arched an eyebrow, the rest of his face impassive. He didn't even turn to look at John.

"Did you find any relatives?" He didn't need to give further explanations about who he was talking about.

"Sadly, no. The girl was not only a ghost but, besides her new daughter, there's no one to miss her."

As soon as Harold finished saying this, he looked at John and saw the look in his eyes. He knew that look, it was the same look he would use when going to a difficult mission. The determination was written all over his face, no chance for failures, no chance for people stopping him from whatever he had set his mind to do. Harold braced himself for the aftermath of whatever decision Reese had made.

"We should adopt her."

"We? Adopt her?"

"You already brought me, Shaw and Root under your wings. Even Genrika is your protégée. Carter and Fusco and their kids are not very far, don't think I don't know about the College funds you made for their kids."

"Your point, Mr. Reese?"

"We should adopt her. She's like us, all alone in the world."

"Are you saying I should bring a newborn to the middle of our lives? Our very chaotic and dangerous lives, I must add." He arched an eyebrow while the determined look remained in Reese's face.

Upon seeing the lack of response from John, he kept talking, trying to put some sense into the man's mind. He knew this battle was lost, he just refused to let it go without a fight, without making Reese understand the full responsibilities and implications of it.

"Where should we raise her? In your flat next to Bear's bed I suppose? In my decoy houses that are a decoy for good reasons? Here, in the library, in the cage where we put Root, a murderer? In Shaw's apartment, where I'm sure no mother care will be provided? Tell me, Mr. Reese, do you ever think through or you just make things as you go?"

The last question was unnecessarily harsh, Harold knew, yet it didn't even make Reese flinch. He kept staring at Harold, waiting to see if he was going to say anything else. When he noticed that the hacker was done, he began to talk.

"Two years ago," He began to say and Harold knew where this was going. "We saved a baby. You kidnapped her, so she wouldn't be murdered. I sacrificed a man's life in order to save her. And everything we lost along the way of trying to save her was worth it because, in the end, she was safe in the arms of her grandparents. A whole life of happiness and normal things waiting for her."

John stopped talking for a few seconds, the memories of that particular number running through his mind. He could still remember the cold he felt while locked inside that trunk and - worst of all - he could remember the despair he felt when the little girl ceased to cry and move altogether. He would've killed the whole world to just save that little girl at the time. Right now, the same instincts were there to guarantee he'd help this little girl that had nothing and no one.

"This kid? This little girl in the hospital that we saved? Nothing of what happened was worth it. She doesn't have a mother, or a father, or anyone else that cares for her in this world. No one. She's going to go to foster home after foster home and no one will want her because she is the daughter of that awful couple whose bodies were found near a dumpster on a bad part of town. They will always wonder if she's a killer like her father or a drug addict as her mother. No one normal will ever want her, Finch. We are her best chance of a normal life, even if normal is one of the words that can't describe us. But we are family and we are willing to protect each other no matter the cost. That's what she deserves. A chance to survive and be loved, be cared for. Otherwise, we'll just be sitting here waiting for her number to show up sooner rather than later."

Finch sighed.

"Alright, Mr. Reese. You won. I'll arrange the paperwork. But she's yours to nurse and care."

Harold wished for nothing more than to be able to say no to John Reese.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be posted Sunday or Monday, depends on when I'll be back to a place with actual internet (my mom's house doesn't have internet, so I'm using my phone).
> 
> No, I don't know how to perform a real c-section (yet), so just accept that what I wrote in this chapter is something close to the truth, please. XD
> 
> Would love to know what you thought about this first chapter!


	2. Hello, Emma!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, chapter 2! Thank you for reading.

For a hacker of Harold's caliber, legally adopting a child was easy. The hard part was to decide what to do after adopting the little girl. Babies needed many things, as he was aware. He chose to purchase all of the things she might need online, avoiding putting her, him or John's in harm's way going to a real store.

Things arrived at one of Harold's decoy houses, later they were transported to John's new apartment, one that didn't scream "single and semi-retired ex-assassin". Some of the stuff, though, were transported to the library. Exactly like it happened with Bear, John was the official caretaker, but most of the time Harold was the one looking out for them.

They used John's newest alias for the adoption process: John Logan. Finch created a background very solid for this one, an ex-military that adopted the baby girl he found abandoned, matching the statement John gave to the paramedics and the detectives. The hacker made sure to make the process be approved without social workers visits a) because Harold and his team are a very private group b) he didn't think that a social worker would be impressed with the library as a nursery, even if it was now baby-proofed.

Shaw wasn't thrilled by the idea of having a new member in their little entourage, mostly because she wasn't very fond of babies or children. It only made her double her focus on Bear, always hugging and petting him, compensating for the fact that the dog had to share John's and Harold's attention with the baby now.

Although Root was no longer living/being imprisoned in the library, she heard the good news, no doubt The Machine told her. Root congratulated them both on their new baby as if she was talking about a married couple who just had their first born and, in a sense, this description was not wrong.

Soon, Carter and Fusco found out about the baby as well, probably thanks to the little girl non-stopping crying during one of their missions that was overheard through their intercom. Carter was once again surprised and she ranted at John for ten minutes about how irresponsible he was being by bringing a child to all this. Harold tried to deter her from speaking such harsh things, things that he had said to John already and had done nothing to deter the man. When she stopped talking, he answered her coldly about how could a mother leave her child to go to a war on the other side of the globe. They fought, as the hardheaded people they were, not willing to admit being wrong or have failed. Harold just turned the microphone off for a few moments and let them try to understand themselves... Or shoot themselves, whatever happened first. He had a crying baby to take care of, no time to worry about such things.

Fusco stayed quiet. But, next day, he asked John to meet him and gave him a Cuban cigarette and congratulated him for becoming a father. Fusco thought that this new role might make John a more cautious man while Harold had his doubts that it would ever happen, John was drawn to danger the same way Finch was drawn to computers, the only thing they were good at, killing and hacking. Yes, perfect parenting material.

A few days later, after cooling their heads and considering each other's thoughts and feelings, Carter and John talked again. She listened to him speak about his little baby and the way his eyes shone with proud and love reminded her of holding Taylor just after he was born. She thought it was reckless and dangerous and maybe a little bit insane, but she understood that need to have a child, someone to love without reservations. They never really apologized to one another and neither brought the subject up again, they had reached an understanding.

And John was happy. Completely and abnormally happy. Finch had never seen him so happy. The little girl would cry at night for any reason and John would get up and take her in his arms carefully. He would feed her, change her diapers, bath her, sing to her, rock her in his arms slowly. He was a better father than Harold ever thought he could be. Obviously, Harold hacked the baby monitor so he could keep an eye on the baby and John when the duo was at home because he had been worried about the two in the beginning. After that, he never bothered to take it away and John never asked him to.

Bear was now taking residence at Shaw's apartment, even if John said it was only until he was able to properly take care of the baby and Bear. Shaw smirked at that, he would never be able to take Bear from her, not even over her dead body.

The girl being the distraction that made John gave up on his rights over Bear was something that made Shaw start to like the baby. Even if she still had trouble calling the little girl of something that wasn't "it" or "thing", but the two of them were making progress nonetheless.

Still, it had been three weeks and John hadn't picked a name yet. Harold gave a fake name to fulfill the adoption papers until they were able to come up with a real one. Only three weeks old and she already had a fake identity, he thought that maybe she really belonged with them. The fake name chosen was Emma, the most common female name given to babies in the USA that year, a perfect alias for a newborn.

Three weeks and Harold had grown fond enough of the girl to make contingency plans for her, in case John or he died. Officially, John's fake name was the only one on the adoption papers along with the name of his fake wife, another perfect fake person Harold created. Unofficially, Harold had changed more diapers, gave more baths and fed the baby more times than he ever thought he would do during his entire life. He would not admit to being her parent, although he knew he had an important role in her short life.

The little girl had peed on him twice, stained his expensive tailored suits with milk and drool, almost gave him a heart attack when she nearly drowned during a bath (he had to leave the room for fifteen point six seconds to save John's and Shaw's lives). This dynamic made Shaw start calling John "mama" and Harold "papa" in the few moments she spoke to the baby or when she was just trying to annoy Finch and Reese. In fact, annoy Harold, John was quite enjoying his title.

"Mr. Reese, this situation can't no longer extend any further. You need to name her. I'm out of adjectives and nicknames to give her."

"A little busy here, Finch." The hacker could hear John fighting some people in the background.

"You have until midnight to select a name before I make the one on her adoption papers official."

John didn't respond and Harold didn't press him for an answer, he knew that his partner was having an intense fight with some members of a Croatian cartel. He also knew that John was most likely using his time to think of a name. During these last weeks, Harold had suggested a few names, Jessica being one of them since he knew how much she meant to John. Only to see every single one of these names being ignored by the other man, and it had got on his nerves now.

At night, only minutes before midnight, John was in his apartment and he had put the little girl on her cradle. He turned to the baby monitor and spoke softly, barely above a whisper.

"Emma is a good name."

Finch understood it for what it as and, in two minutes, it was official: Emma Reese was born, even if her adoption files said Emma Beatrice Logan. Her social security number already recorded in the hacker's memory.

Then, Finch sent texts to all his team, announcing the name of John's - and his? Their? - daughter. No, not in a million years he'd had predicted how things turned out to be. And he certainly wouldn't change it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some research and Emma was indeed the most common name given to newborn girls in the USA in 2013. Apparently, it has been the most common name for a few years now. And Beatrice, her middle name, was among one of the Top 10 most common names as well.
> 
> As you can see, this keeps on being nothing but fluff and I'm not ashamed. Next chapter will be posted Tuesday.
> 
> Your comments and kudos made me really happy! Would love to know what you thought of this one!


	3. Take Your Daughter To Work Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes chapter 3! Thanks for reading so far.

"Mr. Reese, are you sure this is a good idea?" Finch asked anxiously.

"It would be a little weird if I kept watch on her while she's at a children's playground, Finch. People would've called the police on me, thinking I was some kind of pervert." Reese answered while pushing Emma's stroller around the park, keeping an eye on their new number.

The name was Annie Bailey, a babysitter for an upper-class family. She was responsible for a young boy called Garret Xavier, whose family was the perfect example of how not to raise a child, a conclusion Finch and Reese made after everything their surveillance had provided to them. Father was a workaholic. Mother was a shopaholic. Leaving the boy with only his nanny to take care of him. Two people that had had a child only because it was expected of them to have one.

John decided for a more direct approach and went to sit on the bench next to Annie. He could feel the eyes of every person - mostly women - in there looking at him but he was used to it by now. He took Emma out of the stroller and put her on his lap, adjusting her tiny hat to protect her from the sun. The little girl squirmed in joy while he made faces to her, thankfully, John was completely fine with the concept of being a goof around his daughter.

"Aww! She's so cute." Annie said to him, she had a raspy but melodious voice.

"I think so, too." He told with pride. Emma and Annie giggled.

"What's her name?"

"Emma."

"That's a pretty name for a pretty girl. How old is she? Three months?"

"Nine weeks, but she's big for her age."

John thought how funny it was to not lie about something while approaching one of their numbers. He was right, Emma was great for cover work just like she was great at everything and her simple presence made him feel better. Besides, it was good to finally be able to spend some time with her during the job, instead of letting her with Finch. Not that Finch wasn't amazing with her because he truly was, but John always missed his baby girl when he was away. Even listening to her crying through the phone was able to make him happy, knowing she was on the other side of the phone, missing him too.

"She's yours?" Annie questioned. It was a valid question since this particular playground was most often used by nannies than parents.

"Yes." There was that burst of pride again. John could barely contain his smile.

"It's nice of you to take care of her instead of handing her to a nanny." He could see the hatred in her words as she stared at Garret, playing with other kids being watched only by their nannies.

"I couldn't do that. Every moment I spend without her is one I could never get back."

He heard Harold murmuring a "hmpf" under his breath, clearly holding himself to not say something about how he babysits for John all the time. Although John saw it more as co-parenting than babysitting, just like they always did with Bear. Harold didn't know but John had always liked the name Emma simply because it was the name Harold chose to her, he liked it because it made them seem more like a family. It was ridiculous and pointless and he would never say it to Harold or anyone else, but it was the truth.

"Where's her mom?"

Reese almost laughed at the not very subtle way of asking if he was married or in a relationship of any form. He remembered Shaw saying something about he being an even more powerful "woman-magnet" now that he had a kid, even if she still couldn't understand why it was a great appeal for other women.

"At work. He's a bit of a workaholic."

Reese observed the small flick of disappointment go through her eyes, it was followed by the feeling of easiness that came whenever women no longer see a man as a potential partner. It was much easier to get close to a woman when they knew that you wouldn't try to get into their pants. It took him a while to understand and digest why: women don't feel safe around unknown men, and sometimes not even around the ones that they know.

Through his earpiece, he heard an annoyed "Really, Mr. Reese?". John hid the smile by asking her questions, getting to know his target better. They talked until Emma was asleep in his arms and Garret asked Annie to go back home because his favorite cartoon was about to start. He said goodbye to her and took Emma back to the library, where he was met by an excited Bear and an impassive Finch typing frenetically on his keyboard.

He put Emma's stroller on the corner that belonged to her at this point and kneeled down to pet Bear's fur, the dog completely happy with the attention that was being given to him.

"Frankly, Mr. Reese, I'm not very happy with your plan of taking Emma to do field work. Do you know what could've happened? The people trying to kill Ms. Bailey could've shown up there." Harold chastised.

The day after, they discovered that the people following Annie actually were following Garret. Their intention was to kidnap the young kid, the heir of two rich people that would make them rich just to have their son back. Annie, the one adult who really loved the boy, almost died trying to protect him from the kidnappers. Fortunately for them, John and Shaw showed up at the right moment to prevent her death and Garret's abduction.

"I appreciate your concern, Finch. But I think I can take care of Emma if a situation presented itself." John replied.

"I don't doubt your skills or will to protect her, Mr. Reese. I'm just not fond of the idea of Emma getting hurt in the crossfire. I worry enough already when you or Ms. Shaw are out there."

"I'm glad to see you care so much, Finch." He said half mocking, half trying to stop himself from smiling. "Don't worry, I wouldn't let anything happen to our baby girl." The words left his mouth with ease, he didn't even have the time to process the implications of what he said. Finch, however, noticed it.

"She's not my daughter, Mr. Reese." Only then Reese understood what he had said out loud. He didn't stop himself this time and smiled mirthfully.

"That's not true, is it?" Was John's only words before he got up and went to the library's kitchen to prepare the formula to Emma. He knew that she was about to wake up, following her feeding schedule religiously. He simply left Harold there, unable to react or respond to John's rhetorical question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annie Bailey and Garret Xavier and his parents were inspired by the characters from the movie "The Nany Diaries".
> 
> This chapter was a sappy one because I believe John is very sappy behind that mask he made for himself after years of working as a field agent. Jonh constantly tells Harold how important he is to him and how grateful he is, etc. Which means he not only knows how to voice his feelings when they matter but he also feels things very deeply. I'm going to stop my rambling here, sorry. XD
> 
> Yes, this chapter was a short one but, thanks to that, Wednesday I'll post a new one. =D
> 
> Can't thank you enough for reading this silly story of mine. I love knowing your thoughts about the chapters!


	4. Past/Present/Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS promised, here is chapter 4! Hope you like it!

"John?" A familiar voice called. John didn't need to look up to see it belong to Zoe, but he looked anyway.

He saw the confusion on her beautiful face and he couldn't blame her. He was in the bathroom destined to women - the only one that had a place proper for changing diapers - changing Emma. He had made sure that the bathroom was empty before entering and he managed to keep away the woman that tried to walk in a few seconds ago, of course, Zoe didn't know that.

Eighteen weeks of changing diapers had made him some sort of expert. He could do it fast enough that he was certain that, if it was a sport, he would be a champion. Unfortunately, Emma decided to poop right after he had put the new diaper on her. He was cleaning her up and about to place the new one when Zoe opened the door.

"Hey, Zoe." He greeted her.

"Is she in danger?" Zoe asked worried, jumping to the most obvious conclusion and knowing about John's mood when his cases involved children.

"Not exactly. Wait a second."

He finished changing the diaper and dressing Emma up with a yellow onesie that had cartoon lions on it. Harold had ordered that one when she was too young to fit in it, but now it was fitting perfectly and John would make her wear it almost every day. He thought Emma looked extremely cute in it and he knew that Harold thought the same, even without the hacker ever saying a word. John could easily read things in those eyes he tried to hide behind his glasses and fake lack of emotions.

"Can you stay clean until we head back home, baby girl? This was our last diaper." He talked to Emma, who only managed to respond with incoherent babble. "Good girl."

Reese took her in his arms, positioning her to look in Zoe's direction. Zoe had closed the door and was eyeing the whole scene with raised eyebrows, many thoughts going through her mind, but no rational conclusion was achieved, leaving her astonished.

"Emma, meet Zoe. Zoe, meet Emma, my daughter." The proud tone never left his voice whenever he talked about her.

"Your daughter?" The eyebrows were now up to her hairline, confusion was written all over her face.

Her relationship with John was friendly and completely casual, still, she thought they trusted each other enough for him to tell her that he had impregnated another woman. Although, it definitely explained why she hadn't heard about him in these past five months. She thought he was probably busy, she just had assumed he was busy with his job and not... With taking care of a newborn.

She was happy for him. Whoever was the mother was not something important, she knew how much John had always wanted a normal life with a wife and kids, something that he also never thought he would ever be able to have. Zoe used to think that John was exactly like her, that's why they got along so well. She pictured him not as the love of her life or anything of sorts, she wasn't a little girl with dreams of princes charming and knights in shining armor. She pictured him as an equal, someone who shared her expectations about life. It took her some time to understand that John wasn't it. He was much more simple than that, he just wanted what everyone else had, what was stolen from him: a happy life. And he seemed truly happy holding that little baby in his arms. The woman smiled in response a few seconds later, greeting the girl.

"Hello, Emma." She turned her look back to Reese. "You've been keeping yourself busy, I see." John laughed and she joined him.

Regardless of sharing goals in life or not, he had this halo around him and she knew he would bring hell and destruction to anyone who tried to kill her. After a lifetime of being by herself and not being able to trust anyone, it was amazing to know that someone had her back and would gladly take a bullet for her. That was what she liked the most about John, the manner that he could make her feel safe and contented just by existing.

"I adopted her." He offered an explanation.

"Let me guess: with Harold?"

"Not exactly, but yes." John's lips quirked up.

"That's not exactly an answer."

"I decided to adopt her, Harold dealt with the paperwork."

"Everything very much legal, I suppose," Zoe commented. He put his index finger over his mouth, declaring the subject a secret.

"And he does help me to take care of her when I'm on the job."

"Like he does with Bear?"

"Yes."

"You do realize that you're basically married, right?" She asserted.

John changed the position he was holding Emma before answering since she started to fuss about the way he was carrying her and probably because he spent a whole minute without paying exclusive attention to her. Babies didn't like when they weren't being the center of the universe.

"Yes. I'm just waiting for him to realize the same thing."

"That might take a while. The man's a genius, but he can be blind to the things he doesn't want to see."

"Don't we all?"

They stared at each other in silence for some seconds. Neither willing to discuss the subject further, neither quite ready to leave. They cared for each other in a way that none of them had cared for someone for a long time. It seemed weird that they could spend months without talking to each other and suddenly talk as if no time had passed at all since the last time.

"I should probably go to the bathroom." She finally spoke.

"I should probably get back to..." He declared without finishing the sentence. She knew it probably had to do with some mysterious case they were working on. Although, she could not figure out the reason John would bring his baby to the job considering his line of work.

"See you around, John." She walked past him.

"Goodbye, Zoe."

He left the toilet and looked back briefly, and so did she. They eyes never met, but they were aware of all the things that were left unsaid between them and what exactly would be said if they ever had the chance to talk about it.

He would apologize for not loving her. She would apologize for not wanting a real relationship. He would say that their time almost-but-not-quite together was extremely important to him and say he was sorry for not being able to go further with it, he needed something else besides the fun and easiness of their connection. She would say she completely understood him, she wasn't ready for something else, especially a step as big as he wanted to; she didn't know how to be tied up to one person, it required a higher level of trust that she was able to feel for anyone, even him.

And they parted their ways and followed separate paths, even if they were certain that their paths would cross again sooner rather than later. It was not a real goodbye and it felt like one all the same, possibly because they just closed the door for the possibility of having something else, ignoring all the "what ifs" that circled them. It was a farewell but it was also a beginning. The circle of life, she had learned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one wasn't much fluff... Except if you imagine big bad John changing little Emma's diapers while she wears a yellow onesie. That's cute. This chapter is here because I needed. I disliked the senseless plot of John and Iris and how Zoe was portrayed in the middle of it, so this was some sort of fix it because I really love Zoe.
> 
> I'll try to post the new chapter Friday.
> 
> Again, I want to thank you all for reading, your comments make so, so happy. It's great to know what you're thinking! *-*


	5. Nuisance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5, here we go! Hope you enjoy!

"John, I've got a problem." The moment Reese heard his name coming out of the earpiece he knew things were serious. Harold rarely called him John under normal circumstances.

"What's wrong?" Shaw asked, sensing the shift in her partner's behavior, at the exact time John asked Finch the same question.

They were on a stake out this night, inside a car that wasn't stolen for the first time in a long time. Their new number was at home safely sleeping, but they were outside her house, across the street, waiting for the trouble that was about to come.

"It's Emma, she won't stop crying."

The trained assassin in him was a bit relieved at knowing the problem wasn't about someone trying to jump on them or trying to kill their new number, Ms. Holy Corgan - a librarian, of all things - in the next few seconds. His worried father side wasn't as relieved, though.

"Where's she?" He questioned Harold since he couldn't hear her crying in the background.

"I put her on her cradle and came here to call you. You wouldn't be able to hear me if I was still holding her." Although his words seemed to indicate a lack of proper care, John could hear the underlying tones of despair in Finch's usually so well controlled voice.

"Did you feed her?"

As soon as Shaw heard these words she calmed down, knowing exactly what was going on right now. They were in their "parenting mode" as she had gotten used to calling it. They would forget everything about their mission whenever Emma made a different sound.

At first, it was annoying, but soon she warmed up to the little girl and got used to this new side of her partner and their boss. Especially after seeing how any danger to Emma would bring John to his most dangerous state of mind. Shaw had seen her partner shoot five perfectly straight head shots because Emma was weeping painfully while taking her flu shots and other vaccines. The fact that Harold was there next to her to soothe her only able to do so much to calm Reese's nerves.

Shaw and Carter decided that regardless of the danger in their line of work, Emma was going to be the safest girl in the whole planet thanks to having the world's better hacker and the world's deadliest assassin as parents. They ignored Harold's attempts to clarify that he was not her father, Carter knew what it was like to be a single parent and she knew very well that John wasn't one.

The little girl was seven months old now and Shaw didn't even remember how their lives were before her. She didn't like babies very much or anyone to be precise, yet Emma had grown on her. The girl was so much better than other human beings, so much easier to understand. If she was unhappy in any form, she would cry. If she was happy, she would laugh and giggle.

Shaw could spend hours talking to the girl about anything that she would gladly listen, she would even babble in some parts, almost as if she could really understand her. Albeit the ex-doctor was now forbidden to talk about murderer or torture when around Emma after John and Harold lectured her against it as if Shaw was also a small child. Whatever... She had more opportunities to take Bear home after Emma went to live with John. Things were alright between Emma and her now.

"Of course, I fed her, John. I changed her diapers, too, even if it was clean. I tried to put an extra blanket on her, but she threw it out. I tried to put her in the cradle, she merely cried harder."

Harold's voice was reaching a whole new level of desperation. Unfortunately, thanks to Emma, every week he would reach a new one.

"Did you hold her?"

"Yes, John. I held her for almost half an hour before calling you. She just won't sleep and she won't stop crying."

"Did you use the pacifier?"

"What do you take me for, John?" Harold snapped, I signal of how much it was hurting him that he couldn't find out what was wrong with Emma. "I know how to take care of her. She threw it out. She threw her teether out as well. I was afraid she was sick, but she doesn't have a fever, I checked."

"I think I know what's wrong with her. Pick her up and put me on speaker." John couldn't see but knew Finch was arching his eyebrow in disbelief. Thankfully, desperate as he was, he did as he was told.

"You're on speaker, Mr. Reese," Finch said above the hurtful crying.

"Back to Mr. Reese, huh?" John asked and heard the crying stop abruptly. "Hey, there, baby girl. How are you?"

Shaw wasn't listening to Harold's side of the conversation yet she knew the exact moment John stopped talking to Finch to start talking to Emma. His voice always became more soothing and calm, an involuntary reflex that she thought he didn't even notice when doing so. It was a second nature to him just as much being a killer was. She focused her attention on the windows of Ms. Corgan's house and pretended to give him some privacy.

"Did you miss me, baby girl? I know I've been working a lot these last few days." She began to cry again, emphasizing how unhappy she was with the current situation.

"I know, I know. I promise I'll be there soon, then I'll take a whole day off just to hug you. Would you like that?" He kept talking as Emma kept weeping.

"I know you're unhappy with this arrangement. I would rather be there with you, too, baby girl. But, you see, if you don't calm down to sleep, Harold will be very unhappy too. And I know you don't want that, right?"

John could sense that Harold was about to protest to this conversation since it clearly wasn't working yet. She had turned down the volume a bit - John hoped it was her way of making things easier to hear his words - but she still was crying loudly. He intervened before Finch could say anything and began to sing softly, surprising Shaw but not Harold, who had heard that same song many times through the baby monitor he had hacked.

" _I woke up cryin' late at night when I was very young. I had dreamed my father had passed away and gone._ "

Harold didn't know the song at first and had researched it right after he heard John singing it. Shaw didn't know the song but she guessed it was some sort of country song, considering the melody. John's voice was surprisingly good and in the rhythm. He sang it very slowly, stretching some syllables. His usually husky voice was in a higher key and a smiling was playing on his lips, daring to show up without his consent or knowledge.

The hacker and the assassin stayed shut while Reese sang the song, and by the time he sang the last line, Emma was deeply asleep in Finch's arms, breathing evenly, even if her face was still a little red from all the effort it took her to cry for so long.

After Harold put her back in the cradle, providing all the care in the world to make her comfortable and to no wake her up, he went back to the computer room. He sat back in his chair and turned off the speaker, making their conversation private again.

"Thank you, Mr. Reese."

"That's my job, that's what I do." John quoted the song in response.

They stayed in silence for a few moments and when Harold was about to speak again, they've heard noises coming from inside the house thanks to the bugs they planted sooner that day. In seconds, John and Shaw were out of the car and going inside the place to secure the woman.

It turned out that she became the perpetrator. Her next door neighbor walked in with malicious intent and she was awakened by the noises he made. The few moments that took them to reach her bedroom, she had already shot the guy dead. Later she explained to them that she noticed someone was breaking into her house and spying on her. She knew someone was coming for her, so she bought a gun.

This sort of thing increased Reese's suspicion that The Machine knew more about the numbers she sent their way that she was willing to admit. He also wondered when he stopped thinking about her as "it" and started to think about her as a "she". Root had rubbed off on him more than he was willing to admit, perhaps. Or maybe was the way Harold cared for The Machine very much like the way he cared for Emma. They were both his daughters, whether he accepted it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that John sang was "That's My Job" by Conway Twitty. This song showed up while I was doing some research for this fic and I just had to put it in here. I had firstly thought about "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith, but changed my mind as soon as I listened to Conway's song.
> 
> Did you like the boys in their "parenting mode"? I think it's very adorable. And the last paragraph is the main reason why Harold is so reluctant to be Emma's father because I tried to portray things with parallels between his relationship with The Machine and with Emma. He has the potential to be an excellent father but he also has that great amount of self-doubt, of not feeling capable of being responsible for another life. Anyway, thank you for reading! o/
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! Tell me your thoughts! Oh, and Sunday I'll post chapter six.


	6. Hearts On Sleeves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but here is chapter 6!

A new number arrived in the morning, and now Reese was helping Harold to retrieve the books which numbers were a match to the code the machine gave them. One of those books were on a higher shelf that required for Reese to climb a few steps of the stair they kept in the library. He gave Emma for Harold to hold without a second thought, used to trusting her to his care. While John climbed the steps, Harold went to sit on his chair.

Emma was bigger now, nine months old, and already managed to say a few words such as "Eese" and "Ha'old", the nominations for her main caretakers. Shaw was "Shan", Carter was "Kahteh" and Fusco was "Fusso". And whenever Root made a visit or a call these days, she would call her "Oot". Strangely enough, Bear's name was the one she pronounced with most easy. John wished for her to call him dad or any variation of the title, but as Carter said, the amount of time Emma spent with Harold, who only called him Mr. Reese, had its downsides.

He was trying to make her call him papa since she started calling him "Eese" but had been failing. Shaw referring to him as mama and Harold as papa ever since he/they adopted her was definitely not helping. Emma would associate the word papa with Harold, even if not consciously.

"Your books, Harold." John put them on the table with the numbers turned into Finch's direction.

"Ha'old!" Emma proclaimed. Harold smiled shyly at it, as he always did.

"Here, you can give her to me while you do your magic."

Reese picked her up from Harold's lap, who almost instantly started to type. His whole expression changed, going from relaxed and happy to tense and concentrated, as he always did when using a computer, focusing his attention fully on the task ahead or codes in front of him. Reese liked to pry into these moments in which Harold was not paying any attention to him. He liked to observe the man doing his job and looking so passionate, so obstinate to hunt down all the information the computers were able to give him.

John wasn't stupid, despite the fact that everyone seemed to think he was merely the muscle of their operation, and he knew he was completely in love with Harold, and knew it for longer than he was willing to admit. Maybe he had been in love for longer than he realized it. However, he also knew about Harold's lack of luck and experience when it came to love and relationships. He knew enough about Harold to never press him into doing something about it, he was always subtle enough to never make Harold feel any sort of obligation towards Reese or his feelings for him. He was a patient man.

But even his patience was running thin.

It was almost unbearable to spend so much time next to the man and not do anything about it, to accept that he could pry but never have. Or that Harold could be so good to Emma, acting exactly as the parent he should be, but never accepting the title. The others could harass them all they wanted about them being Emma's parents and a married couple, Harold would just politely disagree and change the subject.

John had endured torture and terrible wounds before, both physical and psychological. Still, nothing compared to the hopelessness and hurt he felt every time Harold did this, dismissed and changed the subject. He felt like a bomb ready to blow up. Every time he was close to Harold or talking to him through the phone or earpiece, John felt the need to tell all of his feelings, to burst it all out loud. He never did it, though. That was for the best, Harold was a very private person, after all, he wouldn't like it. And John Reese was a trained CIA assassin, after all, he was trained to lock his emotions and keep them inside under any sort of threat or physical harm.

"Marvin Gordon. 36 years old, works as a guitar player in a jazz band. He's married to Evangeline Gordon. They've been married for the last ten years, she's a doctor and works most of her shifts at a free clinic." Harold read the information out loud.

"Doesn't sound like the profile of a bad guy. What has Mr. Gordon been up to?" Before Finch could answer, they heard Emma's voice.

"Bear!" Emma exclaimed when she saw the dog entering the library next to Shaw. "Shan!"

Harold rose from his chair, in a manner of welcoming her and also worried if she had brought the items he asked her to retrieve from her last mission.

"Hey, there, girl. Boys." Shaw greeted them and let go of Bear's leash, who went to Reese almost immediately, making his current owner roll her eyes.

Reese kneeled to better pet Bear and to allow Emma to pet him, too. Although she mostly tried to hug him with her tiny arms, as she always did. Every other dog she saw she said "woof woof", but Bear she would always treat by his name like she did with the other members of her little family.

Shaw went to Harold and gave him the items, a computer and some old files that weren't digitalized and never would be, now that he possessed them. This week the two ex-agents and the two detectives were working on separated cases since they received a lot of unrelated numbers.

"Thank you, Ms. Shaw. I appreciate your efforts." He politely told her.

"Just doing my job, boss. Got more work for me? Any new number?" She hated being still for too long and her latest number was very simple and hadn't caused enough mayhem for her taste.

"Yes, we do have a new one. Mr. Marvin Gordon. Reese will tail him and you can follow the wife, see if this is a case of marital conflict. I'll send the addresses of their house and workplaces to your phones."

John and Shaw just nodded in agreement. Shaw stroke Emma's hair a few times and petted Bear's fur a few times more, then left. John petted Bear one last time before standing up and giving Emma to Harold's care, who sat up as soon as she was in his arms, and then left the building.

"Guess you two are stuck with me here," Harold told Emma and Bear.

Bear sat quietly on the floor, close enough to Harold and Emma, but far enough that Harold's chair wouldn't be a threat to his personal space, used to the rhythm of a work day in the library. The little girl sat excitedly in the hacker's arms, fussing every now and them, but mostly paying close attention to the screen where he normally played cartoons for her to watch while he worked. He didn't even acknowledge that he gave up an entire screen of his workplace just to make her happy and entertained. He was so used to making sacrifices for humanity, that the small ones he did for Emma barely registered in his mind.

~#~#~#~#~

A few days later, when the new numbers stopped coming and it seemed they would have at least one day off. Shaw left the library early, announcing she would go to her house and drink until she passed out, then she would sleep for twenty-four hours, to compensate for all the work they had been doing lately. John walked in almost at the same time she left, complaining about the mud on his shoes for having to run away from the FBI through the rain at Central Park.

He forgot all about his rage soon after locking his eyes with Emma's eyes, who called his name in excitement. He walked towards Finch's way and took her in his arms, hugging and kissing her, who laughed in excitement. Finch stood up shortly after, limping until another part of the library, then he gave a rag to John.

"For your shoes, Mr. Reese." John smiled at him.

"Thank you, Finch." He kissed Emma one last time before giving her back to Finch, who sat back on his chair.

John cleaned both his shoes, not completely satisfied with the result, but knowing he wouldn't be able to do anything more for now. At home, he had some products that would help to clean them up properly. From his position, he sensed eyes on him and looked up, seeing Finch and Emma watching him. He noticed the satisfied expression on Harold, feeling content for two weeks of jobs well done. The question the ex-agent made, though, had nothing to do with this particular observation.

"Why do you always keeps her on your lap? You know we bought a playpen exactly so she could play without getting in the middle of your work, right?" John asked, noticing how Harold always seemed to be holding her whenever he came to the library after a job.

"I know, but I like having her as my co-pilot. And I read that babies are very fond of physical contact. It helps their growth and cognitive development, as also decreases the incidence of infections and attachment disorders, and since all the people around her have trust issues, I thought it wouldn't hurt to held her a little more." He said matter-of-factly.

John felt a warm feeling spread across his chest, one that was usually connected to his daughter but now and then would be about Finch as well. The thought of Finch preferring to hold her instead of letting her stay in the playpen, even if it made his job somewhat harder, just to prevent any bad thing happening to her was a little too much. He felt that urge to kiss him become stronger, yet still didn't act on it.

"I also noticed that you never stay up while holding her. Does her weight hurts you?" John was worried about Finch's injury, he already put too much pressure on himself and his wounds while traveling from side to side of New York and the country to help them with the numbers.

"No. But I'm afraid it might. I wouldn't want my legs to give in while I hold her, I could let her fall or fall above her. The risk is small, I know, albeit I rather not test my limits when her well-being is at stake."

The problem was that Finch made it really difficult for Reese not to act on these urges to kiss him. That's the reason John walked towards Harold and lowered himself until their faces were a few inches apart, laying his hand on Finch's neck and lightly rubbing his thumb against his jaw. Finch's expression was one of cautious surprise, his brain trying to process everything that was happening.

John smiled and moved one inch closer, asking for his consent, looking for any signs that Harold didn't want that. He found none. He closed the small distance between their lips, pressing them and he moved his lips against Finch's, creating innumerous sensations from his head to his toes, an overwhelming feeling of happiness hitting him.He was kissing Harold Finch, his boss, his handler, his best friend, the smartest man in the world, the kindest man in the world, the father of his baby girl - whether he accepted the title or not -, his... His savior.

He couldn't believe he was finally kissing Harold Finch! His boss, his handler, his best friend, the smartest man in the world, the kindest man in the world, the father of his baby girl - whether he accepted the title or not -, his... His savior.

Then he heard a clearing of a throat and instinctively knew it was Shaw, no one else would be able to sneak up on him, regardless of how involved in the kiss he was. John loved her but right now he considered killing her. However, Emma grabbing at his clothes was the real reason he broke their contact, looking briefly at Harold to guarantee that he hadn't done anything wrong, that he wasn't hallucinating.

"Well, was about time. Took you boys long enough." Shaw proclaimed in her usual tone, smirking.

"Hello, Shaw." John greeted, clearly unhappy by the interruption.

"I'm just gonna back to grab my gun." She explained before changing her mind. "No. You know what? I'm gonna take Emma, too." Both men looked at her, ready to protest. "And take her to Carter, so the two of you can have the night off and sort things out. I'm sure she'll agree to it. You need it. Everybody saw this coming, but it took you this much time to actually do something about it. Cowards." She accused while still smirking.The woman was enjoying the whole situation a lot more than she should, John thought, but, at the same time, he was grateful for her allowing them the time to work things out, he wouldn't 

The woman was enjoying the whole situation a lot more than she should, John thought, but, at the same time, he was grateful for her allowing them the time to work things out, he wouldn't want for Emma to hear in case Harold was about to scold him for his actions. Even if he doubted that he would do it, after the way the hacker corresponded to his kiss.

Shaw took Emma from Harold's arms and took the purse that contained all of her baby items, modified to contain a GPS tracker as well. She also grabbed the gun she had forgotten. Then, she walked out of the building while talking to the little girl, that was more than happy to be in the arms of one of the people who hold her the least.

"Did you see that, Emma? Mama and papa are finally going to get laid, I mean, together." They were able to hear her tell Emma while leaving the room.

They blushed and laughed nervously. It was a new territory for them and they were more than ready to travel through this dangerous and unknown waters of this relationship, to deepen what they already had and to discover new things and give new meanings to it. This was it: the beginning of all the things they've dreamt of and many things they never really thought about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, they finally kissed each other! It only took nine months for these silly boys to actually do something. I hope it matched your expectations!
> 
> Nine months is too early for a kid to speak as much as Emma does in this chapter. Usually, they start to speak actual words at the age of ten months, improving over the months and years. In my story, it only means that little Emma is smart and has been over-stimulated by the team - that spends too much time speaking to her since they're quite lonely in general. According to my mom, I began to talk when I was eight-months-old but only took my first steps when I was eleven-months-old, meaning that I'm lazy and love to talk people's ears off until this day (hahaha). So, as you can see, is completely possible for a girl of her age to speak that many words, even if it isn't common. =D
> 
> The part Harold said about babies needing to be held is from this article: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2865952/. But it's also something that scientists have been making experiments about, mostly with mammals, for a long time. So, if you know any babies, hug them, it's good for them. <3
> 
> Next chapter will be posted Tuesday or Wednesday because this week is a little bit crazy, so I'm unsure when I'll be able to post. But a little spoiler: next chapter we got their first real date!
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for reading this! Love your comments!


	7. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes chapter 7! \o/ Hope you enjoy!

It was almost eight p.m. and Reese was getting nervous, pacing the room. He checked his watch again, although he had done the same thing thirty seconds before. He didn't remember the last time he was so nervous. He probably wasn't this nervous when he joined the CIA.

After that first kiss, Finch and he talked about it. John was pouring his heart out, stating how much he loved Finch, and how grateful he was for everything Finch ever did to him, from giving him a job to helping him take care of his daughter. Finch, on the other side, was more worried about practicalities, as usual. He needed to understand everything about this new development in their relationship, including if the risks of it were worth it. Trust Harold Finch to reason everything, including feelings.

They decided that the best course was to approach it as close to a normal relationship as possible. Fortunately, John was able to convince Harold that they didn't need to talk through everything at that exact moment and he made certain to show all the physical benefits of this new development until Harold accepted that they should probably talk more about it later.

And later was this night. Their first real date as a real couple.

It made no sense for John to be this nervous, considering that he and Finch had dinner together a thousand times before and they knew so much about each other already. They knew enough about their skeletons in the closet, but also about other pressing questions, such as their personalities, what were their likes and dislikes, and everything that could affect their compatibility as a couple.

John was aware that having the same goals as your partner was one of the most important things for a couple, that's why his relationships with Jessica, Kara, and Zoe hadn't worked out. The passion was there, only the timing wasn't right. A completely different situation from his and Harold's relationship because their timing was almost destiny and they shared exactly the same goals, always in sync. Still, he was nervous as a young teenager would be at the probability of losing his virginity after prom.

The doorbell rang and he almost sprinted to open it. On the other side were Shaw and Root, not the best choice for babysitting, he knew. However, John couldn't just hire a normal babysitter, he needed people with some skills and who would truly do everything before letting his daughter be harmed in any way. Carter was usually his first option but the woman had a life, a job and a kid of her own that she couldn't forget for their sake even if she did it most of the time. The two women weren't the sanest available, but he knew he could count on them for protection. Also, The Machine was probably going to keep an eye on the three ladies.

Root had said something about Emma becoming one of The Machine's protégées since Emma was important to many of her most important assets and, through her understanding of the situation, daughter of her creator. Root said The Machine viewed Emma almost as a younger sister, that needed protection and guidance. It worried him and Harold in the same proportion it made them feel glad, knowing Emma's well-being was in the hands of such a powerful creature. Obviously, Root hid from them that The Machine had made plans for which Emma could be her new interface in the forthcoming future.

"You seem nervous? Is it about going on a date with Harold or leaving Emma with us?" Shaw asked as she entered the house, followed by the hacker.

"Both," John answered dryly, no need to lie to them.

"Don't worry, John. You go meet Harry and we'll take excellent care of Emma." Root promised with a cheerful smile on her face, that always seemed a bit maniac in John's opinion.

"I guess I don't have another option and, considering your background, she's going to be safe even if a small army tries to get her." Both women smirked at that. "Please, don't break anything, including rules. There's a schedule on the fridge about her eating, bathing, and sleeping habits. She likes to watch cartoons, I have all of her favorites saved in the tablet that is on the table. The instructions of how to make her formula and what she eats are on a notebook in the kitchen. I must be back before midnight, but you have my number in case anything happens."

"You're so adorable when you act like this. I can see why Harry kept you all these years." Root provided in an almost mocking tone. John was starting to rethink his choice of babysitter.

"Don't worry, John. We'll follow the instructions. We're good at it, remember? Go have fun and, please, don't come back before midnight. You and Harold deserve some extended fun." She winked, letting unsaid what she meant.

"Oh, don't worry, Shaw, I have every intent of having fun tonight, but I'd rather do it here next to my guns and my daughter than on a motel room somewhere."

He closed the door without waiting for an answer. Not waiting to see the smiles on the women's faces and not wanting to wake up Emma with a goodbye kiss.

He drove to the place, a fancy Italian restaurant that Harold chose. John was sure that the place was important to him somehow, he wouldn't just take John to a random place. Despite everything, Harold was a creature of habits, only the pattern was harder to follow than most people's.

When he walked in, he was greeted by the maître, that sent him to a table at the end of the restaurant, almost completely hidden from view. John couldn't turn off his training, thus, by the time he arrived at the table, he knew all the possible exit routes there was and had classified people around them as most likely to be a threat.

"Good evening, John."

Reese smiled in reflex to seeing the man seated at the table and to hearing his name being said with such affection. He felt happy for no reason just by being next to Harold, he was now sure that even if he was dragged away because of all of his crimes, he could spend the rest of his life unaffected by anything else, good or bad, simply for having tasted such amount of happiness.

"Just got better." He responded and watched Harold look at him astounded about the compliment. "What do you recommend? The scrambled eggs, I suppose." John smirked, remembering that day at the diner so long ago. Harold's lips quirked up in amusement.

"I suppose scrambled eggs are not the chef's specialty here, John. Perhaps we should skip the antipasto and ask for something of more substance since you barely ate today."

John loved that worried tone masked with practicality, it felt so good to have someone to care and worry about him. His previously handler, Snow, didn't feel like a presence of safety, like a guide. It always felt horrible to finish a mission and see his face, he represented just the thought that he was going to be sent out there to kill someone else. Harold's voice was the opposite. Every time his voice came through the earpiece he felt relieved, safe, knowing he was in good hands, that his life was important as well, not just something disposable. It wasn't hard for him to understand why he fell for the man, even if the idea seemed so unaccountable to Harold.

"What do you suggest?" He didn't even bother in opening the menu.

" _Pasta e fagioli_ , followed by a small portion of _gnocchi_ , then the _ragù alla bolognese_ , the chef specialty," Harold told him, happy to know they would eat his suggestions.

"Sounds good to me."

If they were about to eat the worst food in the world, John still would eat it all happily, not just because of Harold's company, but also because he hadn't eaten anything since lunch. He was too busy during the afternoon trying to deal with their newest number and, upon arriving at his house, he had to take care of all of this daughter's needs before doing anything else. He was starving - the best flavoring to any food, really.

They ordered their food and Harold asked for a classic _Chianti_ from their oldest reserve, he said it would match greatly with their first meal and would still make a great pair with the _ragú_. John didn't know anything about wines and didn't care much, he was just extremely glad to see Finch made such efforts for their first date to be perfect.

"So, now that we placed our order, should we start the real date?" John asked, sensing Harold was impatient and possibly anxious, too lost in his thoughts to be able to start the conversation.

"I suppose so. What topic should we talk about? I- I haven't been on a proper date for quite some time." The hacker admitted embarrassed.

"Haven't been on a proper one for some time, either."

"What about your dating with Ms. Morgan?"

"Not real dates. It was more like... Skipping the dating part and going directly to the more pressing matters."

Reese sipped the wine to avoid the quirk of his lips being noticed while observing Harold's eyebrows raise, understanding the true meaning of his words.

"And I suppose that skipping to more pressing matters is not what you desire from me?"

"Oh, no. I long for dealing with these pressing matters with you. Slowly. And soon." He affirmed in a suggestive manner. Harold's ears turned red. "But I also want to deal with everything that comes before and after those pressing matters."

"Are you sure?" He composed himself and cleared his throat before continuing. "I understand that I'm not the most desirable individual you could come across. I'm also older, you could easily find someone of your own age or younger, more relatable. I don't possess the best social skills, having lived as a reclused for the best part of my life. Being so intrinsically associated with me will not make your life any easier and might affect our jobs, in which I, unintentionally, assume a position of hierarchical power that might lead to conflicts and others abuses and misunderstandings that might ruin everything we've built so far. And I limp."

John's first reaction was to defend Harold from his own words, however, he shut up and let the other man finish his speech. This was Harold being practical as usual, listing the things that might be considered flaws and issues in a _normal relationship_ , the same way he would report facts about a new case. He wasn't self-depreciating himself, he was only presenting these facts so Reese could reevaluate his choice, not that any of this would make John change his mind. He was giving John the chance to know his so called flaws and John almost laughed with how Harold told all these things as if the ex-agent hadn't been aware of them.

"The same goes to you, Harold. I do not own a cent under my name, except for the salary you pay me. I'm faithful, but I have a dangerous job that will get me killed, and when I leave my bed in the morning, I never know for sure If I'll be able to get back alive or unharmed. I have a kid, which is not everyone's cup of tea, but it's yours, that already treats her like your own. I don't have many social skills either, since I'm dead to all the friends of my previous life and joining the CIA, and living undercover isn't exactly the easiest way of making and maintaining meaningful relationships. And I jump into danger rather than running away from it." He decided for the same approach. "We're both very flawed human beings." He concluded with a bittersweet smile.

"Indeed we are, John." Harold sipped his wine, eyes calculating odds only he was able to see.

"You've been calling me John since that day," John commented after the silence had stretched enough.

"I suppose I've been." Harold seemed to have noticed such a change only after Reese told him about it. A reflex then, just like Reese thought.

"The only other people you call by name are Emma, Grace, and Nathan." He noticed Finch tensing at the mention of the last name. "Was Nathan your partner more than in business?"

A question that had intrigued Reese for so long, probably since he found the picture of Harold next to Nathan when they were younger. The manner Harold avoided to speak about the man whenever possible; that fondness mixed with guilty whenever he did spoke about him; the way he treated Will, Nathan's son, with such care and worry, much like he did with Emma. All of those things hadn't been ignored by Reese, he just never found the time and courage to talk about it until now and he never thought Finch would answer him if he asked.

"Yes. When we were much younger, before he met his wife." He answered briefly without giving more explanations.

"In College?"

"Yes. It wasn't very well seen at the time, to have two male students enrolled in a relationship, so only Arthur knew about us and kept our secret."

"Arthur is the other one on that picture you showed me?"

"Yes. He was a very good friend, extremely intelligent, too."

"Then what happened?"

"We decided that we worked better as partners on the job than on a more romantic level." He saw Harold's face and knew immediately it was Nathan's decision, not his.

"He thought that being together would be a bad thing for business?"

"Yes. And he was right."

"But it hurt you all the same." He reached for Harold's hand on the table and placed his above it, caressing the skin using his thumb.

"It was a long time ago." He left unsaid that this was the last they would talk about the subject tonight.

Their food arrived and they ate most of it in comfortable silence. They decided to not discuss any cases during the date, it was about talking about more personal matters and pretending they were normal people on a normal date and talking about a super artificial intelligence that gives them social security numbers of random people so they can prevent crimes would defeat this purpose.

They discussed Emma for a long part of the night, she had become their favorite subject ever since the adoption, nine months ago. They would spend hours worrying about her and taking care of her, it was hard to turn that off. Harold asked why he chose to sing that song to Emma every night to help her fall asleep, instead of more usual lullabies, something that he'd been wanting to question for some time. John said he heard that song many years ago, just after joining the army and it always reminded him of his father. At least, of how a father should be and how he his own father had failed him, and how this only made him follow the same path as his old man. He hoped that singing that song, Emma would know he would always be there for her and, hopefully, would not follow his steps.

They talked about their allies as well, remembering how they started by themselves and how now they had a whole network of people helping them. Which turned the subject back to their job, so they changed it. They talked about plans for Emma's first birthday and new arrangements for their relationship. They shared small details about their past, that weren't exactly secrets but thanks to their lives of lies couldn't be shared not even with their most meaningful partners from before.

After they ate dessert, they left the place. John, feeling bold, took Harold's hand in his, interlacing their fingers. The hacker didn't let go until they were back at Reese's apartment.

When they reached the place, they found Shaw and Root sleeping on the sofa while the TV was on. The volume was low and the girls were snuggling, the baby monitor was placed next to them. The men smiled at each other, they had discussed the affection both ladies were developing to one another during dinner. They thought if they should wake them up or just let them sleep, but considering how uncomfortable they should be on the sofa, John woke them up.

The two girls left after many not subtle phrases about them "having a good night". Harold was mildly embarrassed by the sudden interest the women had taken on his love and sexual life and John secretly amused with it all, he couldn't remember the last time he had friends cheering for him after a date, probably during high school.

They went to John's room stealing kisses from one another until they were completely absorbed in each other. Hands exploring every piece of the other, hungry for the knowledge of how each touch would make the other feel. They couldn't contemplate how perfect their date had been so far. It was then that they heard a cry coming from the baby monitor. They sighed, taking some time to adjust themselves before going to Emma's room.

She had a low fever and a congested nose. This forced them to spend most of the night awake, controlling her fever while John sang to her. She spent most of the night taking short naps and waking up in pain. After a few hours, they decided to take her to a hospital, certain that it was nothing more than a normal infection, but unable to not feel some despair at the idea it might be something more serious.

Harold had changed Emma's birth certificate in secret after their first kiss, three days ago. Instead of John's fake wife, Harold's name - well, his latest alias - was there. He was officially her father now. The gesture took John, who hadn't know about the change, by surprise and it made him kiss Harold right there, in the middle of the waiting room. Harold whispered to Emma that he was sorry for taking him so long to accept her as his child, but he'd compensate her for it somehow.

They stayed at the hospital until eight a.m. and received a number from the Machine while leaving. They looked at each other and they felt exhausted, but still smiled at each other, little Emma in John's arms feeling much better and the men feeling at ease for the first time in many years.

Things hadn't happened according to plan, yet, in the end, it was a perfect first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Root/Shaw is only implied in this chapter because this fic happens between season 3-season 4, when Shaw wasn't yet prepared to develop a relationship with Root, so I'm maintaining this detail. But assume that eventually, they'll get together in this universe - even if I never write about it - because I love them.
> 
> No, they never got to meet Arthur in my story, John only knows he exists because Harold told him about some small details of his past and John figured out some other stuff.
> 
> I don't understand anything about fancy dinners, ok? I don't have enough money for this kind of fancy stuff since I'm only a student, so I just chose foods I like and put them in a random order. The wine, though, I had to research a bit about it, it seems like this kind of wine matches all of the foods I chose but there's no personal experience on the choice of the brand.
> 
> I had to rewrite this chapter a few times. Everything I wrote I disliked and I almost left this fic unfinished because I couldn't properly write. Fortunately, a friend encouraged me to keep writing this chapter even if didn't seem perfect and it isn't, but I had to write something, right? I really hope you don't dislike it much.
> 
> As I said before, this week is a bit crazy for me so I'll only respond your lovely comments from chapter six tomorrow, sorry for that! And next chapter probably will be up Friday!
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for always being so lovely! <3


	8. Step By Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, people. It was a really crazy week! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

"John, it's official: Emma can walk," Harold announced through the earpiece and his voice didn't seem amused with the news.

"That's great!" John exclaimed as he punched a gunman that had tried to kill their latest number. "You don't sound so excited." He considered carefully after noticing the lack of enthusiasm in Finch's words.

"That's because I am not, John."

"What happened?" His elbow met the guy's face as he questioned about his daughter latest adventure.

"She left the playpen and decided to explore the library. By herself. If Bear hadn't warned me about it, she would be under inches of books now." He explained.

Harold's tone always made it seems as if he wasn't feeling anything as he spoke, but John knew him well enough to know when he was worried or scared or feeling anything else. Right now, he sensed that his partner's tone was very tense and worried, similar as if he just had experienced an adrenaline rush.

"Is she alright?"

"Yes. Bear barked and bit me until I followed him. She was playing near that shelf that was infested by termites and apparently their infestation was far more advanced than we presumed and now we have one less shelf. But I managed to take her before the books felt."

"Are you alright?" His voiced became softer, even if he was kicking the perpetrator's stomach at the same time.

John knew how much Emma's adventures made Harold feel. They argued about this a few times, especially in these last two months since they became more than friends and co-workers and Harold assumed an official role as her parent. John worried but was aware that she had to take a few risks to learn new things. Harold could not stand any sort of pain her learning could bring upon her. It was funny, considering how Harold always seemed to be the rational one. Unfortunately, when Emma's well-being was at stake, rationality was the first thing that Harold would forget, John found this adorable.

"I think I will recover. My suit, on the other hand, might not. Bear made some irreparable damage."

"You're not calling me just to tell me about Emma or the suit."

He knew Harold too well. He would always wait until John arrived at the library or called him to tell about Emma's adventures, which Harold didn't agree should be called adventures, more like dangerous behavior, something he blamed John for, if not by DNA, then by example. Finch would never risk a case by contacting John with matters that weren't urgent and Emma's adventures stopped being urgent after they started happening three times per day.

"No, I am not. I am sending you an address via text and I expect you to be there at three o'clock sharp."

"I'll be there. I'm just wrapping things up here."

"And John, be presentable."

"I'll wear my best suit." He promised. "See you soon."

"Be careful." He turned off after hearing Harold's choice of words for saying that he loved him.

John wasn't the kind of person to always speak his feelings out loud, but when he did talk about it, he wouldn't waste his time, saying exactly what he meant using as few words as possible. Finch, on the other hand, didn't talk about feelings at all. It was almost comic to see him dealing with it inside his own head, not being able to voice it as he wanted. He didn't know if this was related to Finch's paranoia or just because he hadn't loved enough people to understand everything inside him. That's why John became even better at reading between the lines when it came to Finch, things such as 'be careful' and 'I trust you' were his way of saying he loved John.

~#~#~#~#~

"A school?" John approached Harold, who was waiting for him at the address exactly at three o'clock. Emma's navy blue carriage at his side.

"Yes."

"Isn't she a little young for school? She's only eleven months old." John peeked inside the carriage only to find his daughter deeply asleep.

"Exactly, John. She is old enough to understand things that she should not. She spends her days with me at the library, a place where we keep extremely dangerous content."

"Shaw and I took all the guns and explosives to the vault we installed in the basement." John defended himself.

"I'm not talking about your guns, John. The books, the computers, the glass board. She hears and sees everything we do in there."

"Do you think an eleven-months-old baby will spill out our secrets?" He joked. Looking at Harold's expression, he knew that it was not the right thing to do. This was a serious conversation, no jokes allowed.

"It is a risk to her own safety, Mr. Reese." He really shouldn't have joked about it if 'Mr. Reese' was being used. Nowadays, Finch only used his last name when he was mad at him.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. Thankful that neither Carter, Fusco, Shaw or Root were there to listen to it. Especially Root, she already saw him as Finch's lap dog, imagined if she knew how easily he would do anything just to make the man happy or not angry at him.

"We cannot, as her parents, be irresponsible enough to let her near our dangerous business with the irrelevant numbers. It's already absurd that we let her be near the library for this long. We need to provide a better environment for her and a school is perfect for it. She will learn new things and possibly make friends, increasing her social skills, which is something we should be worried about if she is anything like you or me." He lectured. John didn't mind it, he loved seeing Harold extra worried about their baby girl, so he agreed in silence, pushing the baby carriage inside the property.

Before and in the first nine months after Emma arrived, John would never see Harold outside work, except if he tailed him somewhere or save the rare occurrences in which they would take Bear or/and Emma for a walk in the park. After they started their relationship, Harold spent more days in John's house than not. He would sleep there almost every night and help him take care of Emma, while still being there to help John take care of himself. The ex-agent had been thinking about asking for Finch to officially move in with them, but he was more afraid of the answer than he was willing to admit, and he contemplated it one more time in his head while they were heading to what he assumed was the Principal's office.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Crawford." The headmaster greeted Harold and only nodded to John after they were lead to her office. Emma was still sleeping in her carriage, oblivious to the world.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Coleman. Thank you for receiving us in such a short notice." Harold said.

They sit in the expensive leather chairs in her office, looking directly at her. John put Emma's carriage next to him, facing the wall across the room.

"Anything for our biggest donor, Mr. Crawford. Would you like some coffee? Or tea?"

"Tea would be great." Harold accepted.

"Coffee. Black." John requested.

She smiled at them and asked the secretary to bring their beverages and John could see that she was trying to impress them, which meant that Harold was providing this school with a check containing many zeros. He told John that he had been donating to three different private schools in the area of New York to guarantee a proper place for Emma when she needed, he just never thought it would be so soon. He would miss her little voice in the back of Finch's calls.

The secretary brought their drinks and left. Only then their conversation began.

"What can I do for you today?" Ms. Coleman asked.

"We hoped you could enroll Emma in your toddler program. Your school offers the best care for kids bellow six years old in this state and we would not want our daughter to be placed anywhere but the best we can offer her."

"You must understand this is a very private program, Mr. Crawford. We only allow fifteen children per time and they're accompanied during the whole day by three different teachers."

"Let me guess, you already have fifteen children?" John said.

"Yes, we already do. Your name is?" She recalled not being proper introduced.

John thought that she might be used to see powerful rich men walk in her office being followed by their security detail. She was smart, being able to recognize a bodyguard so easily, even if this was not the case. Sort of.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. John Logan, Harold's husband."

He loved saying that word. It wasn't true since they have been dating for only two months, however, they aliases were indeed married to each other, just like Emma's adoption papers said they were her parents.

"Oh, you are married? I'm so sorry! I thought you were his-" He observed her olive skin blushing.

"Bodyguard? Yes, I do get that a lot." John smiled his trained fake smile.

"I am so sorry." She repeated ashamed.

"Don't be. It's an honest mistake. John owns a private security company, people tend to assume he is my bodyguard more often than not."

John raised an eyebrow, interested to discover that now he owned a private security company. He was pretty sure that this was not part of his alias but was even more sure that it would be as soon as they left this place and Harold put his hands on a computer.

"Back to our real subject, Ms. Coleman, and going straight to the issue in this matter. I need my daughter to be placed in your toddler's program and you need my money to keep your school functioning. I think we can find a middle ground in all of this."

"For me to put your daughter on the program some other kid would have to drop out." She reasoned.

"No need for that." Harold took his cell phone out while John was only watching the two trying to reach a deal. "I'm transferring an amount of money to your school funds that I am sure will be able to pay for the opening and maintenance of a second toddler's program, one which Emma will be part of and will allow you to add another fourteen names on your list. This solves everybody's problem, I believe."

The woman was surprised. Alicia Coleman had worked at this school long enough to know that rich parents would do anything for their kids. She had endured all of their shenanigans to secure a spot in her school, from threats of no longer funding the school until more aggressive ones, where they would expose her dirty secrets or hire someone to scare her. But see a man offering this much of money, above what he had already been contributing, just so she could open a spot for his daughter while still allowing fourteen other children to attend the school was the first time.

"I would like for these other spots to be opened for children that cannot pay for this sort of care. Since I'm already paying for all of them, I believe it won't be a problem."

She hadn't seen them as a couple before and now it was obvious, the fond smile Mr. Logan was directing at his husband was unmistakable, it was the look of someone proud and in love. How odd they were, so different from all the other power couples she saw every day sitting at her desk, they had something off about them, like sharing a constant private joke. She was very curious to know how their daughter would adapt in her school.

"Emma can begin next Monday." She said, smiling widely at them.

In her head, she was already planning everything she would do to receive these extra fifteen kids in her school, the teachers she was going to hire, which rooms they could use. Her mind was at a hundred miles per hour.

After signing many papers and presenting Emma's adoption papers, they finally left the place. Harold was pushing the stroller and John was right next to him, his right hand placed on Finch's lower back, a gesture of protection and possession that he had been doing more and more lately.

"You could've just made one kid drop out. It would be a lot cheaper." John commented playfully.

"Yes. But this way not only Emma gets to be in school, but other children in less privileged conditions can have the same care and education that otherwise they might not be able to pay for."

To Harold, this wasn't a grand gesture of kindness, it was logic, possibly because kindness was his logical way of thinking. John loved that, too. Harold's heart was big enough to fit every other human being on the planet and his inherent kindness was powerful enough to spread to everyone he was in contact with, including the Machine. John knew Finch could provide many things to Emma, including some superfluous and ridiculously expensive things, but his kind heart was the best thing he could ever give her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite thing about this chapter is how John and Harold are dating for two months and they seem like a married old couple. Adorable. <3
> 
> Babies who can crawl or walk are a nightmare, it seems like they have an attraction for dangerous things! And they give you heart attacks every time you realize they've moved one inch away from the spot you put them. It's fun but it's not a job for the weak of the heart. XD
> 
> The whole "toddler program" is something that I've heard about a private school here in my country but I have no real idea how it works, so I filled the blanks with my imagination, as authors tend to do when they don't want to research something.
> 
> Next chapter is the last one already! My semester has started already, so it probably means that I'll only be able to post Monday or Tuesday, but I'll try to post it Sunday.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for your support, comment and kudos! <3


	9. Happy Birthday, Emma!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! College messed up my posting schedule! ='(
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains spoilers for season 3!

Carter received a text from an unknown number, it contained an address and a time. She thought it was probably Finch, as usual, so she loaded her usual gun and an extra one, knowing Finch, she was going to need it. Joss drove to the place and recognized it as one of the safe houses the hacker owned. The detective prepared her gun but kept it by her side instead of pointing it, unsure of what she would find inside.

Nothing that she could've expected would have prepared her for what she saw when she arrived and opened the door. The place was decorated with balloons in many colors and sizes, some of them had the shape of hearts and animals, while others were put together to create images such as flowers. It was all very festive and she stayed there, at the door, trying to understand what was happening.

"Oh, good, you've made it." Harold smiled at her.

"Yeah. What's happening here?"

"It's Emma's one year anniversary, detective."

"It's been a year already?" The news shocked her. She wasn't ready to accept that a year had gone so fast in her life. It had been over an entire year since she made HR disappear and had been shot at by Simmons. Over an entire year since her surgery and miracle survival. One entire year since the little Emma was brought into their messy lives to bring nothing but happiness to two of her most beloved friends.

"Yes. It seems hard for me to believe it as well." Harold had a smile on his face, albeit a shy one. Carter barely saw those before Emma entered his life.

"I thought you were inviting me for a gun fight." She clarified tucking her gun away.

"I am sorry. I should have made myself clear. And alert you to bring Taylor along."

"Why am I the only one here?"

"John is picking Emma from school. Ms. Shaw is bringing the cake from a candy store downtown. Detective Fusco is picking Lee at his mother's house. I invited Ms. Grooves as well, but I am not sure if she will be able to attend."

"Am I the last to know?"

"Of course not, I told John to invite you last week when we were working that stolen jewelry case." She made a face indicating she never heard such invitation. "He didn't tell you, did he? I don't know where that man's head is these days. He must be worried about something, it is the fourth time he forgets something like this in these past two weeks."

"Do we still have time?" She questioned before Harold could go further on talking about John because she knew he could go on hours when talking about John, Emma or computers.

"Yes, I believe so. It will take everyone else at least thirty minutes to get here."

"Good. I'll call Taylor, see if he wants to crash this party."

She dialed her son's number and soon was received by his gravel voice, funny how it seemed that only yesterday she was reading bedtime stories to him and now he was a grown up, a couple of years away from College. He agreed cheerfully and she left the safe house to pick him up.

During this last year, Carter had been a babysitter to little Emma more than just a few times and she loved taking care of the little girl with her big bright brown eyes that could speak volumes, much like Harold's. After the first time, she took Taylor's old albums as a baby and she missed that time fiercely, wondering how time could go by so fast, exactly like she was doing now.

This meant that Taylor had been a babysitter as well. The first few times, he hated having a baby in the house. He thought she was cute, but five minutes with her was everything he could endure before boredom started. Until the day he had to take care of her while the whole team was needed to fight against a particularly nasty threat. There was no one else that could be with her that they trusted, so he was sent to one of Finch's safe houses along with Emma and he took care of her for an entire Saturday night. Instead of getting mad for being unable to go out with his friends, he enjoyed it. He found ways of mixing his interests with things a six months old baby might like and he was now as enamored with the little girl as everyone else.

Carter expected great things from Emma, after all, in barely one year of life she had conquered the hearts of an ex-CIA agent, a recluse billionaire, a sociopath, a hired assassin/hacker, a teenage boy and two police officers. It took a special kind of girl to be able to do something like this, to inspire protectiveness, loyalty and love so effortless and from these sort of people; the ones that weren't used to trusting and loving, much less so easily.

She parked in front of one of Taylor's friends' house and honked. Soon, her son was sitting in the passenger seat talking excitedly about some new band, then changing the subject to ask when he would be able to take his driver's license, then talking about Emma and Carter's circle of 'badass friends', which is how he referred to them after seeing them in action during a case a few months back. He might or not had developed a crush on Sameen, something the whole team thought was hilarious except for Taylor and Shaw.

When they arrived at the safe house again, the guests were all there already. John was holding Emma while pointing at the balloons and asking what each shape was. Shaw was next to the cake, eyeing it with hunger while Root stood next to her attempting to flirt. Lee's eyes brightened at the sight of Taylor and soon the two boys were discussing video games and superheroes. Fusco was next to Finch, and Carter overheard him say "you should stop collecting strays, Glasses."

Yes, she supposed. They were all strays. Lost dogs that found each other despite the fact that were another eight million people living around them and that was just in New York City. She liked to entertain the idea that some force brought them together. Maybe because they had a purpose to fulfill together or simply because they needed each other. Anyhow, it was nice to think that their encounter was more than sheer dumb luck.

"And who's that, Emma?" John asked in that sweet tone he only used with Emma (and sometimes Harold).

"Cahteh!" She exclaimed happily.

"Hey, Emma." Carter approached the duo. "How are you today, birthday girl?"

Emma was wearing a light green party dress, that made her look more like a porcelain doll than a little girl. A green headband was complementing her attire and, by experience, Carter knew the piece would be out of her head as soon as she had five seconds alone. Her hair was short and, looking at her, Carter could find traces of her young and tragically dead mother.

One of Reese's request was to make a proper burial for Laura Siggens. She was still buried along those many Janes and Johns Does in the cemetery, for the protection of Emma's identity, Finch had said. Although, they knew the exact number she was under, in case Emma wanted to go there in the future. They made a small ceremony, in which Finch read a poem and spoke some words; John said some more words, apologizing for being too late to save her and thanking her for presenting Emma to him and promising to take excellent care of her baby girl. Carter didn't know her in life but she took flowers to her grave once in a while, whenever death almost touched her, she would go there to be thankful that she survived another day to be with her son and that she had people to look after him if she did die.

"Buthday! Balloon!" Emma squeaked in joy watching the decorations around her.

The girl still was too young to know how to make any proper communication, but she could say so much with her eyes that the detective didn't need much to translate the meaning of the things Emma wanted to say. Right now, Emma wanted to go play with her balloons. However, before she could do anything about it, John came closer to Carter.

"I need to talk to you." Tone dead serious. This wasn't about party-related issues, this was about something else.

"Taylor, why don't you come and say hello to Emma?" She called her son, that shortly after was chasing Emma around the room with the pretense of being a monster that was going to get her. The girl would giggle every time she looked back and saw Taylor and Lee following her. The detective and John went to a more private location while all the other adults were distracted by the young ones.

"What's going on?" She asked seriously.

John took something out of the intern pocket of his suit and held it in his hand, taking a small breath before showing it to Carter. When she saw it, she was speechless. Albeit she recovered soon from her lack of words.

"You're going to propose him?"

John only nodded in response to her, even quieter than usual. She stared at the two rings in the palm of his hand and when she was finally able to look away and into his eyes, she saw it, the fear that would not cross John's mind when entering a place full of criminals or when facing certain death. His fear was reserved only for when the well-being of the ones he loved was at risk... Or when he decided to propose to Harold, it seemed.

"Do you think he'll say yes?" She laughed at his question, unable to restrain herself.

"John, how could he not?" He relaxed a little after understanding the reason she laughed. "He loves you. As much as you love him. I know Finch isn't very good at talking about feelings, not much different than you, but there's no doubt how much he loves you. And he has a kid with you." She put her hand on his shoulder, reassuring him. "He isn't planning on leaving you anytime soon, John. That much I'm sure."

"I don't think he'll leave me and Emma. I just think that maybe he doesn't want this... This much of commitment, especially after everything that happened with Grace." She never saw this man so unsure of himself, so small, so doubtful. It was strange to be able to see this other side of John Reese.

"If he tells you no, I'm going to kick his ass." She offered.

"I'd rather not, I like his ass." The two shared a playful smile.

Joss Carter didn't have many friends in life. When she was a kid she had many and as an opinionated teenager she still had plenty of them. After she became an adult, she entered a world of narcissist children that could not bear to be proven wrong, that disliked her for her high moral standards... And she felt alone. Even in the army and with the medals she gained, she inspired fear in her colleagues more than friendship. People were afraid of the truth and she was trained to get the truth out of people. Their admiration for her ended the second she had something to say about them. Her marriage had suffered from the same and all the relationships she had before as well. It was indeed lonely at the top. But she would never step down to feel less lonely. If they wanted anything from her, they would have to achieve the same level and no less. Joss Carter would never settle for less than she deserved.

Then there was John Reese.

Against the pattern she saw through her adult life, his admiration for her only grew when she did the right thing, even when the right thing was to make him get arrested for crimes he might or might not have committed. He acknowledged her moral superiority with awe, he was impressed by her, never scared. Sometimes she couldn't understand how it had happened but, at this age, she managed to finally make a friend.

And not just one, this friend brought along many others, like Fusco, that resented her morals as much as everyone else and still walked side by side with her every day. And Finch, who she didn't know if he really could be classified as a friend and whose morals standards were as high as hers, even if he was more inclined to ignore them for the greater good. And Shaw who hadn't anything in common with her but would gladly go out to a shooting range, then a bar so they could alleviate the tension of their double lives. And Zoe, who had different issues than hers, but had an amazing capacity to understand others, that could know exactly what was going through her mind without Carter having to say a word. Regardless of the nature of their jobs, every day she would remember to be thankful for these friends who were willing to risk their own lives for hers or her son's.

She and John came back to the party and festivities ran their course. They sang happy birthday to Emma, ate cake, laughed at silly things, shared this moment of memorable although simple happiness. Finally, after Emma fell asleep and when Taylor and Lee retrieved to another room to play some video game about zombies, John asked for everybody's attention, which he soon obtained.

"Thank you all for coming today. It's really important to me to know how much you care for Emma, makes easier to be out there doing what I do."

"And here I thought it would make you a more cautious man," Fusco added and people laughed, except for Finch.

"So did I, detective Fusco." The hacker said reproachfully and John looked at him fondly.

"And special thanks to you, Harold, who made all of this possible. Not just the birthday party - again, sorry for forgetting to invite you, Carter -, but for allowing me to adopt Emma and for helping me to raise her." John turned his body in Finch's direction and was staring deeply into the other man's eyes, trying to make the words reach him. "And also because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, none of us, actually. Thank you, Harold."

He took the hacker's hand in his and kissed his knuckles, never stopping the eye contact. Harold seemed uncomfortable with the praising of his lover, almost shy to be hearing such words directed at him. Carter thought he seemed doubtful if he really was worth it, as he always did. Harold always felt responsible for all the crimes humanity committed like he had committed them himself. Like Atlas, carrying the weight of the world.

"And I know you will be there for her and for me and for everyone in this room until your last day, but I still would like to ask you something."

"Anything," Harold told.

Carter and everybody else in the room knew how serious he was when he said it, it was a promise of doing anything above and beyond his capacity for John and Emma and all of them. Maybe this was why people seemed to be drawn to Harold even with his high moral standards, he was willing to break every rule for these few people he cared about, he would raise hell on Earth and all that. He inspired loyalty and gave his completely if you were able to go through layers of lack of trust and reach his heart. She could see the difference between her and him: she was a soldier able to inspire any other soldier in the battlefield; Harold was a king able to inspire any person to become a soldier and go to war.

Reese reached for the intern pocket of his suit and took out the rings without showing them.

"Harold Finch, would you like to officially be mine until death do us part?" He opened his hands, but only Harold could see the thin metal rings.

Carter could see Harold's expressive eyes going through a hundred emotions within a second. The disbelief, the fear, the love, the doubt, the surprise, the happiness. It was all there much like in John's eyes.

Everyone in the room seemed caught between completely surprise and no surprise at all mostly because, to all of them, the two were already married, regardless of anything. They were all holding their breaths, including John, waiting for Harold's response.

"Yes, John. I would very much like that." He finally answered and a collective sigh was heard, everyone feeling relieved after that.

They began to cheer and congratulate them, jokes and praises being said, albeit, Carter knew that they only had eyes for each other right now. All the noise was only the background to the promise they just made to each other. Reese kissed Finch but their smiles made it impossible for them to give a proper kiss.

She knew how it felt, to accept such commitment with a brother in arms, fighting the same fight, side by side. It made everything harder and it made everything easier. The woman could only hope that John and Harold would not make the same mistakes she and Paul did. Although she had the feeling it would be nothing like it.

The detective smiled to herself and hugged them both, congratulating them. She left the party soon after and, in the car, while her son sang along to a song playing on the radio, she thanked one more time for everything she had. Family, friends, job and even her mistakes, it all lead her here, to this moment. One year after being so close to death, she could do nothing other than to be thankful for being alive. After all, Joss Carter had many things to be thankful for.

In fact, they all had, especially their little dysfunctional and nontraditional family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this is over. THANK YOU ALL VERY, VERY MUCH! I can't put it into words how happy you made me through theses weeks with your comments and kudos and subscriptions and bookmarks. I never thought these many people would read this story, so, once more, thank you for following me in this journey of fluff and silliness. <3


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